Friday, December 7, 2012

The second coming of...Peyton

So Tennessee finally finds someone willing to coach its football team and some people apparently are excited.

Don't be.

The dude from the University of Cincinnati has neither the brains nor the stones to lead Tennessee to the promised land. Unlike the awesome U.S. Coast Guard HH-60 Jayhawk pictured below in its Orange-and-White awesomeness, Mr. Jones is not equipped to save us.

And he also has prophecy working against him -- that of the Second Coming of Peyton Manning.

Soon as Peyton wins his next Super Bowl -- this season, hopefully -- he will retire from the NFL to lead Rocky Top to the ultimate achievement in all of college football: the SEC championship!

Fear ye not, my Big Orange Brethren, the temporary visitation of Butch Jones. For there is one coming the laces of whose footballs we are unworthy to throw. And he shall indeed deliver the Tennessee Volunteers unto football glorrrrr-ay for several years to come! (And this time, hopefully, he'll figure out a way to beat Florida). Hallelujah!

1 comment:

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